


I Can't Do This Alone

by ManicMulder



Series: Oneshots and drafts that I hate but I somehow wrote [2]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: dont read this, its for my own archiving purposes, mulder is hurt, oh no, what happens next?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:16:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28485228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ManicMulder/pseuds/ManicMulder
Summary: MulderTorture (Anonymous) *sighs* archived 1.1.21
Series: Oneshots and drafts that I hate but I somehow wrote [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2086524
Kudos: 5





	I Can't Do This Alone

Fox Mulder was driving very late through downtown D.C. No one was around as it was most people's bed times. He had spent more time in the basement and got carried away with everything. He was smiling to himself because he had a rare newspaper clipping of a photograph he found that proved that the government had been involved in some Roswell smokescreen coverup.

He was taking it back home to his apartment because he didn't trust it to sit overnight. Mulder was driving the normal speed limit. There was no time to shout. No time to scream. No time to swerve.

Unexpectedly, Mulder felt a car slam right into him on the left side. No time to process anything. He was out.

Alex Krycek rammed the truck as hard as he could at Mulder's vehicle, watching it roll over a few times before stopping. No one being around, he got out nonchalantly, and popped the trunk, taking the photograph. He briefly looked at the damage and smiled before walking off into the night.

Someone eventually came upon the wreck, and had called 911, because right away, an ambulance arrived along with cops.

Paramedics were trained to see the worst, and at this hour, it usually seemed like a drunk driver. They took note of the scene before rushing to the car. The sight was shocking. Blood was pouring out from multiple wounds. Right away, they got to work, strapping him on the board before securing him on the stretcher. Midway through the ambulance ride, his heart stopped, and with barely enough time left, they resuscitated him. Right away, he was taken in an OR room.

A cop at the scene, rummaged through the car for any sign of identification. He found Mulder's badge and called the bureau right away. The crash definitely looked like foul play.

"I'm a police officer with the #34th precinct. I responded to a scene of a vehicular accident. One of your agents was involved. His name is Fox Mulder. He was transported to George Washington University Hospital." The police officer cupped the phone closer. "I think this was an intentional crash."

Walter Skinner was just about ready to head home too but changed his direction to the hospital. "Is it bad?" He asked, scared for Mulder.

"I'm not so sure. I think so. Possible head, neck or back trauma."

"Thank you." Skinner hung up before racing to the crash site. He didn't have time to get out so he observed the scene, deploying some agents to investigate before making his way to the hospital and burst through the ER doors.

"AD Skinner," he said showing his badge. "One of my agents came in here. Car crash. Tall man wearing a suit."

"He's in the OR. He'll probably be in there for hours. It's serious. Are you his next of kin?"

"No, but I can call her."

Walter hesitated to dial Scully. She might just get a heart attack from the news.

"It's Skinner," he said seriously. His tone was obviously worried.

"What's the matter?"

"It's Mulder. Someone hit him in a car crash. I'll tell you the details. Drive safely to George Washington University Hospital."

"Oh my god," Scully was already crying. "I'll be right there."

Within ten minutes, Scully practically ran in finding Walter before collapsing into his arms.

"Is he alright?"

"He's in OR."

Scully went to the front desk. "I'm agent Dana Scully with the FBI. The man you brought in is my partner. What's his condition? I'm a medical doctor."

"You're his wife?"

"His partner. Please tell me what's going on." She was crying now.

"So far, he's got a TBI. There's some severe whiplash to his neck but it seems like his back is fine. He's broken a few ribs and resulted in a pneumothorax."

Scully wanted to scream. Why did this happen to Mulder? Skinner comforted her as she cried. They both sat in the hard chairs, not able to sleep until five hours later, a doctor came out.

"You're with the FBI?" He asked Scully and Skinner.

"Yes. Can we see him?"

"Yes. We just brought him to the recovery room."

Scully raced there and the tears couldn't stop as she took a look of his sight. His head was wrapped with a big white bandage. He was not even wearing a gown. The sheet covered just from his belly button to his knees. Wires and stickers were attached everywhere. He looked terrible, but peaceful. His neck was in a brace, and he must've broken his arm because there was a cast too. His stomach was all wrapped and there was still lots of bruises and contusions everywhere.

"Oh my god," she said reaching for his hand that had the cast, but not the IV.

"We managed to fix his collapsed lung, and put screws in his arm. His broken arm is probably the least worried you have to be. He did have a concerning amount of internal bleeding in his brain, and fell into a coma shortly after we started. We don't know when, or if he'll wake up. You're a doctor, so you know possible what could happen. He luckily won't have paralysis for his legs, but he'll have to relearn how to walk. His arm might be weak as well for a while. It's better for him to sleep off some of the injuries before he wakes."

"I'll leave you alone," Skinner said, as he and the nurse left. Scully didn't want to hurt him, so she just held his hand instead of resting her head on his stomach.

"Mulder. Please wake up. I don't know if you can hear me, but I think you can. No matter what happens when you wake up, I'll be here for you. We'll find the bastard who hit you."

The next month was painful for Scully. She fell into a depression, with Skinner desperately trying to help her. The whole bureau heard about the horrific incident, and everyone treated their agency as family. Everyone spent weeks scrambling to find the driver. Eventually, they found out it was a rental truck that Krycek had rented, before taking and feeling to Russia. But why did he hit Mulder? Krycek always had a reason for his actions. That's what they needed to find out.

After a month, Mulder's swelling had subsided but he still looked awful. He was removed from the ventilator which was progress but still received oxygen through his nose. She held his hand every night, talking to him and then one night, she felt his finger twitch. She looked up startled, and he slowly opened his eyes.

"Mulder! Mulder, it's me!"

Mulder slowly opened his eyes. He felt fuzzy, and weird. He realized he was staring straight up at the hospital ceiling. He tried turning his neck but realized that something was restricting him. As his vision cleared a bit more, it was still blurry but he made out the silhouette he recognized as his favorite partner.

He opened his mouth to talk. "Scully," he very coarsely whispered.

"Mulder!"

Mulder could hear her very faintly. What happened? Why was everything so quiet.

She started speaking fast but he couldn't pick up what she was saying. He felt hopeless. He needed answers.

He still couldn't move, but Scully slowly put him to a slight sitting position. He took sight of his lower body and his right arm which felt incredibly weak.

Scully called for a nurse as Mulder still was in and out of consciousness.

She got him a notebook and he started to write. His handwriting was never good with his right, but using his left, he wrote, "What happened?" And "I can't hear well." Mulder truly did not remember anything. All he remembered was the photograph. He started to write photograph, pointing.

"He might have some hearing loss," Scully said to the nurse. "Mulder, you were in a crash," she said. "What photograph?"

Mulder frustratedly tried to talk but still couldn't. He lifted his left hand and felt his face and neck, only realizing the brace. He tried to take off everything all of a sudden and fought.

"Mulder! Stop!" He was pretty strong for someone who just woke up from a coma but he was still able to be held. "Don't make us restrain you," Scully said.

He tried again to speak out a word but it didn't work. For some reason he could only say Scully somewhat clearly.

Scully stepped out for a minute while the nurse did a vision and hearing test for Mulder. She called Skinner who said he'd be there right away. She didn't bother calling his mother. She had a month ago and she never showed up to her son's bed.

"Well, you sustained some significant hearing loss but hearing aids should help again. You'll need glasses too, but those are probably not a big concern. We can have that ready in a couple hours.

Mulder frowned.

Scully touched his legs and he could feel every part which was good. She told him he'd be out of the cast in a week, and then he could start physical therapy. They couldn't see if he could walk until he had enough strength in his arm.

Skinner came and smiled. "You're not leaving the bureau before me," Skinner said.

He pointed to the word photograph again.

"What's with the photograph?"

"I don't know. Mulder is trying to tell me something, but so far he can't form his words yet."

"Where?" He wrote again.

"Where is a photograph?"

"Was it with you in the office. Is that the last thing you remember?"

Mulder wrote yes.

It all pieced together for Scully. "Mulder! You had some secret photograph and you took it home with you but then someone crashed into you and stole it!"

Mulder's eyes went wide, and then he let out a huge scream that shocked everyone.

"Mulder! I'm right here." She squeezed his hand again and he started to cry again. Scully wiped away his tears. "I know. It's tough. But you're so strong. For the month you were out, I prayed and talked to you everyday. And my prayers were answered."

Shortly after, Mulder's hearing aids and glasses were brought. He could see and hear clearly again. Scully smiled. She remembered the first day in the office when she met Mulder, he was wearing his glasses.

"I don't look hot," he wrote down.

That's what Scully loved about him. He still would crack a joke, even at his worst moments. "Can you try talking? Tell me about Roswell."

Mulder's brain could think of so much to tell her, but when he started to talk, it came out a bit slurred, and he noticed he had a stutter. "Roswell h-h-hap-hap-happened in ninet-t-t-teen..." he stopped talking and bit his lower lip, ashamed.

"Mulder, you suffered a TBI. It's not uncommon for it to affect your speech.

"Scully," he said. He smiled. At least he could say that. "Then w-w-why c-c-c-could I ssss-ssay your name?"

"Magic," she replied.

"Is my dick alright?" Mulder wrote smirking.

"Yes, Mulder," she said rolling her eyes. "That's what's on your mind?"

Most of the day, because of the medication, Mulder spent the day sleeping, without his hearing aids. He would wake up at random times, and it was the same boring routine. Checkups, TV, and boring soft foods like yoghurt.

A week passed and his cast was taken off. Mulder realized he must've lost a lot of weight. His arms were skinny. He frowned when he realized he felt weak at the wrist.

He was put in a brace instead for his wrist but his fine motor coordination was off for that. He had so much to do. He had to regain strength in his arm, get his speech back, and then he'd have to try to walk. Could he? He hadn't tried in more than a month.

He managed to spend a week and his hand was at an adequate strength. Strong enough to hold on to something for support. He still had to wear the brace the rest of his life when wanting his wrist to stay up. During physical therapy, Mulder at least had his finger control somewhat back, enough to flip off someone. He smiled when he showed Scully the skill.

"That's nice," she sarcastically said.

"Scully, c-c-can I finally t-t-take off this neck brace?"

"Soon. It'll help your posture for a little bit," she said. "Mulder, today you're going to try standing. You might find it hard. The team here will assist you. Don't get frustrated and beat yourself up if you can't do it."

Mulder frowned. At least he was wearing his shorts underneath his gown. A belt was wrapped around for support. Mulder realized it had been a month and a half, since he had stood up. Inside, he thought he could. It'll be easy, he thought. I can feel my legs. I should be able to.

With the help of the nurses and Scully, he swung his legs over the side of the bed. He looked so thin. Mulder realized he actually hadn't looked in a mirror at himself yet... but he probably didn't want to. He hadn't even gone to the bathroom himself. He had to use all the wires and tubes.

Everyone took a big breathe as Mulder held onto the IV stand for support. Everyone was at standby and Scully stood in front of him.

"Look at me," Scully said. "Don't focus on your legs. Just try to stand to me."

Mulder looked ahead and he felt his feet, in the padded socks touch the cold floor. He patted them down, before lifting himself up, but only for a second, before his knees buckled and he fell forward. He reached out in front to brave himself but the nurse pulled him back by the belt, steadying him. They held him up by the armpits.

Mulder was sweating. He was using every ounce of energy to try to balance but it just wasn't working. He sighed in defeat, as he was sat back down.

"I'm sorry, Scully," he muttered.

"Don't be, Mulder."

Scully bent down to hug him and it felt nice. He cried in her arms.

A week later, and Mulder made progress that was worthy. He no longer needed the neck brace, and it felt good to Mulder to stretch. He finally looked in the mirror. His hair had grown out but he still had a nurse keep him clean-shaven. He still didn't look superb anymore, but what was he going to do about it?

Scully had taken him a bit around the hospital in a wheelchair but there wasn't much to see. Every day, they would have him try to stand and nothing much happened. The speech therapy was helping him speak more clearly and less slurred, although that might be permanent.

That day, with Scully present as usual, he suddenly felt a sensation in his legs and he stood up by himself. He grinned widely.

"Scully! Are y-you look-looking? I'm s-s-s-standing!" He said. He was still holding his arms out, like a kid who was learning to keep balance but he had done it.

It felt nice, but he was still ever so slightly hunched over.

"Can you try to take a step?" A nurse asked, still holding out for him.

Mulder tried to concentrate, but couldn't even lift his leg off his foot. At most, it was like a tip-toe. He brushed his leg forward, but then he fell again, the nurse catching him.

He frowned again, but Scully told him it was incredible progress. He could stand without support for a good amount of time.

The doctors decided to fit him with full length light-weight leg braces, for a bit more support.

"It's all a process with re-teaching the brain," Mulder was told. He was now standing at the parallel bars, his hands on them as he stood, a nurse holding the back of his belt. Another doctor slowly lifted his leg, helping the motion for his steps. It was a slow process, but Mulder slowly tried to walk alone again, but found it still hard to lift his legs. Let alone, he needed to take breaks from leaning on his right arm.

Scully told him once that she knows he never quits. He didn't. His mind was so focused on recovery, he never thought about his work. Scully assured, they were working on finding Krycek still and Doggett and Reyes were working on the X-Files.

Mulder so badly wanted to leave the hospital but until he could walk by himself with a device, he wasn't allowed to leave. Unless he wanted to give-up and be in a wheelchair, but Mulder wasn't letting that happen.

Meanwhile, a letter from the syndicate arrived at Skinner's office. They alleged that Fox Mulder stole their property. Skinner couldn't believe this. The note said that Mulder should hand over the "photograph" or else they will be appearing in court in three months. That smoking son of a bitch.

Skinner told Scully about this news, but just to keep it between them and not to tell Mulder until later. Maybe he could waiver this. Mulder was in no condition for trial. Obviously they couldn't get the photograph, but maybe if they found a source, they could get a duplicate. They sent Doggett and Reyes to Russia, the only agents they could trust to find a Krycek.

Back at the hospital, Mulder had completed the skill of standing, but holding onto something or someone. He wondered, if he could feel his legs, why didn't they cooperate? He was trying to train his brain, then he needed to get his brain fixed.

"How long do you think until I walk?"

"Well, Mulder... frankly I think you'll be relying on a cane or crutches the rest of your life, but you'll still be able to walk. In roughly a few months if you keep working hard every day."

"Am I eligible to play again in the FBI baseball game in the summer?"

"Well, any agent can... but do you want to?"

"I've never missed it. Fun fact, I've won every game I've played in. I'm the lucky player," he said pridefully. Then his smile slowly dropped. "Except I'll look like a complete fool. Maybe I'll be coach this time."

A month later, and Mulder was getting tired of the hospital. He had every single corner and inch of the place memorized. He was making progress, but it was still slower than he anticipated.

He was able to lift his legs to a reasonable height, but it took every ounce of strength he had. He started to practice with the walker, and was doing a good job. Scully was very proud of him, but he probably could only walk in ten minute sessions before having to stop and rest.

His hearing was still fine with the help of his aids, although they annoyed him greatly. His speech was never going to change, so he stopped the physical therapy. He would just sound stupid the rest of his life.

Scully had been showing up to the hospital less, but Mulder didn't mind. He knew she still was working on his case. Finding Krycek and the photograph. He wondered why Scully seemed in a rush. Come to think of it, he didn't even know how he got the photograph, or why it was important anymore. Most memories a week before the crash were distant and fading.

He told the nurses, he was going to surprise Scully. When Scully made her way to the hallway, she was surprised to see Mulder standing up, with the walker, still in full leg braces, but looking excited.

"Scully!" He shouted. "W-watch me!" A nurse still very closely followed side by side, but Mulder slowly walked towards Scully, focusing on his steps.

He was taking a while to get to the end of the hallway, but Scully was super proud of him. That's why he didn't want her at the sessions! He wanted to make her happy by showing he could walk!

Mulder was getting tired again, but he didn't want to give up. Scully could tell it was getting hard, but he made his way to her, before reaching his arms out and giving her one big hug.

He looked back at her face to see Scully crying. "W-why are you c-c-crying?" He asked.

"I always believed in you."

Mulder smiled again. They were happy tears. But they weren't. Scully had to tell Mulder about the court date in a month. He was physically sound enough to go, but then he'd have to come right back to the hospital. It should only take a day.

That night, she told Mulder the news, and all of a sudden, he started convulsing. It seemed rather late, but he was diagnosed with epilepsy as a result from his brain injury.

Time skip. It was finally the day for Mulder to be released from the hospital. He would still go to physical therapy every Monday, Wednesday and Friday but he was free to leave. As much as Mulder wanted to go back to his apartment, it wasn't fit for him, so Mulder would be staying at Scully's home with her mom for a while. He now could rely on the leg braces and forearm crutches, but it was still tiring.

Instead of using a wheelchair, he walked through the entire hospital, all the way to the parking lot. All the nurses who helped him were so proud.

Once he arrived at their home, Mulder still needed help with the stairs. Skinner came to help and he picked up Mulder with incredible ease. He was sure the man had lost around thirty pounds.

Mulder enjoyed the new environment for a bit. He was going to the bureau tomorrow to go over things before the hearing. He was still damn annoyed that they would literally sue him. He was already not physically capable for the FBI anymore, why bother?

The next day, Mulder was nervous to return. He still made an effort to look nice, and wore pants that could cover his leg braces.

Once they got to the building, Mulder sighed. He didn't want people seeing him like this, especially since he was teased already, and now he was accused of stealing, which his memory totally forgot about.

He slowly got out of the car, grabbing his crutches. He walked towards the elevator and when the doors opened, it was just like how things used to be. He made his way to the basement, as if his appearance wasn't changed. Was it the hearing aids? The glasses? The crutches? It definitely made some heads turn but

Blah blah blah... hearing time.

Mulder entered the room, with all the official looking men, watching him.

"Glad to have you back," they said.

Mulder knew this was a lie. He slowly sat down, setting his crutches aside. There were a lot of people in the room.

"Mr. Mulder, we have footage of you breaking into a government lab and stealing a classified photograph. Do you remember this?"

"N-no s-s-s-sir," he stuttered out. All this stress made his speech worse.

"We have enough evidence to prosecute you."

"W-what the fuck does it matter? I c-c-c-cant, I c-can't-" Mulder slammed his fist on the table. He was annoyed he couldn't get his words out. He decided to skip those words. "I'm fucking disabled. I s-shouldn't be a t-t-target t-to you all anym-m-more. It's n-not like I c-can chase after you. D-d-don't you have any god-damn respect?"

The whole room was silent, so Mulder continued. "Do you know w-what the fuck h-h-happened t-t-to me? Clearly it was one of your men w-who h-hit me. You p-p-p-probably wanted me d-dead. But here I fucking am. I will n-not stop t-to find the truth. At this moment, I resign. I'll manage my own life."

That was the most Scully had heard Mulder talk. Usually he would just say very minimal at most. Mulder grabbed his crutches to get up, but his head was also pounding. As he stood up, he felt that sensation of when he was going to have a seizure.

Before he could warn anyone, he collapsed, convulsing hard. Scully right away rolled him on his side while a few others came to help. Everyone watched and Scully timed the seizure. It was only a minute. She made sure his head was okay, and resting on her lap.

After a couple more minutes, Mulder came back into full consciousness.

"Another seizure?" He whispered.

"Mulder, you can't shout anymore. It disrupts your brain too much."

"Well, let me go." Mulder got up and for once, he pushed away Scully's hand. She felt hurt. Mulder struggled, but he made it to his feet himself, before grabbing his crutches and walking out of the room. He could just picture in his head, instead he would be briskly walking out, slamming the door. He still managed to slam the door.

Skinner and Scully followed him immediately, catching up.

"W-what!?" He barked at them.

"Mulder, I'm driving you back to mom's."

"Agent Mulder, if you're serious about resigning, I'll need you to hand in your weapon and badge."

Mulder did so and without a word, Scully walked to the car, Mulder slowly trailing behind. He never could sneak up on anyone. His crutches were so damn loud.

He was driven home and then closed the guest room door. He wanted to be alone. He took off his braces and lay down on the bed, watching the television.

Mulder was sitting in his room again, sad that today was the FBI baseball game, held in Quantico. Just then, he got a call.

"Mulder, it's me, Scully."

"How's the game?" He asked sadly.

"I have some news for you. They delayed the final game to tomorrow. If our office doesn't win the game, then we lose. We need a winning person. That's you. One agent said he couldn't make it, and I suggested you come play."

"That's ridiculous! Everyone will laugh at me."

"No. C'mon, Mulder!"

"I'm not even at the bureau."

"Skinner said he could pull a few strings."

Mulder smiled and right away Mrs. Scully drove him. He got his baseball uniform on, although his braces were strapped above his pants. He liked his look again.

The game was in the last inning, with a tied score. It was finally time for Mulder to bat. Other agents who hadn't heard of him, probably wondered what was going on. Mulder could easily stand, so he did, as he handed off his crutches to Scully. He held the bat, firmly. Closing his eyes, he breathe in, focusing on the ball. He had taken his hearing aids for precaution, so everything was almost dead silent to him.

The ball came and Mulder swung. Strike one. He looked towards Scully who mouthed "you got this."

Mulder felt like he was going to fall, but a strange bout of strength came about him. Luckily he shocked everyone. The ball went so far, he could made the run. All of a sudden, he felt someone reach his hand. He looked at Scully. Together, he held onto her, as he started to walk as fast as he could. He couldn't tell if people were cheering or not, but he loved the touch of Scully's hand. He made it to first base and kept walking. He saw them still scrambling to find the ball...

The final stretch, and Mulder was getting tired. It was super heard to stay up, and Scully wasn't that big either, but her hand reassured him. He saw that the other team had the ball again.  
Mulder made his final way, as the first basemen was ready to catch the ball, Mulder jumped and slid, feeling his hand touch the base.

He looked to the umpire, then to Scully, and the rest of the bureau in the stands. They were all smiling. He won the last point!

Mulder smiled and then Skinner came and picked him up for victory!

Then, Scully went over and gave him a big kiss.

The end.

did you read all that? gosh...


End file.
